Time really does fly by when you're.... busy. This doesn't mean that I'll be back 100%, well not just yet that is. Will still be just a little MIA since I'm not entirely done with exams.
Today's topic: I am lucky.
Have any of you guys ever heard stories from your parents about how tough life was when they were growing up and how we should consider ourselves lucky and blessed? Know what I'm talking about? Then have any of you tried the concentrated version: aka the grandparents story of how things used to be when THEY grew up.
I don't know about you guys, but I've heard stories of famine, war, poverty etc. Things like these really make you think, don't they? That we really and truly are blessed and lucky, right? Lucky that we have the opportunity to get a proper education, not starve and live safely without ever having to wonder about where the next meal would come from?
Every time I hear stories like these I DO consider myself lucky but...truth to be told, the feeling doesn't really last me that long...well at least not as long as I would have wanted. I usually get so caught up with the "minor" problems I have to deal with in life. Deadlines for project hand-ins, exams, what to do with my life after I graduate etc. The latter one, I find that it has often been filling my mind lately. I can do this, that and a billion other things with my life. The only problem is...what??
It's true that the daily problems I have to deal with seem so petty compared to those my parents/
grandparents went through in their younger days. But sometimes when I'm stressed out, they DO seem HUGE! Why is it that we, as modern
Asian women, in the 21st century get worried and and start feeling anxiety when it comes to choosing career paths...or am I mistaken and is it just me? Could be just me...or maybe...just maybe.... I'm speaking for one or two of you out there.
Should we follow our parents wishes and become the doctor/lawyer/engineer they've always wanted us to aspire to be? If not, then if we DO follow our own paths...what should we become? We know very well that they only mean it in a good way since
having a daughter/son in a respectable position means that not only are we financially secured but they also save face and feel that they can walk a little taller.
I'm in the dilemma that I don't want to be neither of the three but at the same time, as a filial daughter, I don't feel like I could bring it upon myself to bring shame upon my family. It seems like they "settled" for me going to business school but every now and then I hear the occasional remark about: "Oh...you COULD have studied this, that would've been a better path for you". Because I believe I might do it myself when I get married and have kids of my own, to be a
besserwisser (One who
knows better but more importantly knows better than my kids) I usually bite my tongue because it isn't appropriate to talk back but one must stand up for one self, so I do so, in small doses of course.
In the meantime, I'm still wondering about what I should do with my future once I finish school and get a masters. The problem is....we have too many choices, it makes us confused and dazed, not knowing what to choose from. In the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy my days of going to school, hoping that the answer will fall right into my lap because I've heard that "grown-up life" is
soooo much more stressful than the life of a student. If I'm stressed out NOW then who knows what I might end up like when I enter the job market?
Think positive: I'm lucky, blessed and I shouldn't let minor things bother me. Hopefully I'll find out what I want to do with my life before I graduate... If not, I'll publish a stressed-out, panicky, anxiety-filled post. But... everything in due time, for now I'll just focus on me and getting through the exams.
Wish me luck!