Time really does fly by when you're.... busy. This doesn't mean that I'll be back 100%, well not just yet that is. Will still be just a little MIA since I'm not entirely done with exams.
Today's topic: I am lucky.
Have any of you guys ever heard stories from your parents about how tough life was when they were growing up and how we should consider ourselves lucky and blessed? Know what I'm talking about? Then have any of you tried the concentrated version: aka the grandparents story of how things used to be when THEY grew up.
I don't know about you guys, but I've heard stories of famine, war, poverty etc. Things like these really make you think, don't they? That we really and truly are blessed and lucky, right? Lucky that we have the opportunity to get a proper education, not starve and live safely without ever having to wonder about where the next meal would come from?
Every time I hear stories like these I DO consider myself lucky but...truth to be told, the feeling doesn't really last me that long...well at least not as long as I would have wanted. I usually get so caught up with the "minor" problems I have to deal with in life. Deadlines for project hand-ins, exams, what to do with my life after I graduate etc. The latter one, I find that it has often been filling my mind lately. I can do this, that and a billion other things with my life. The only problem is...what??
It's true that the daily problems I have to deal with seem so petty compared to those my parents/grandparents went through in their younger days. But sometimes when I'm stressed out, they DO seem HUGE! Why is it that we, as modern Asian women, in the 21st century get worried and and start feeling anxiety when it comes to choosing career paths...or am I mistaken and is it just me? Could be just me...or maybe...just maybe.... I'm speaking for one or two of you out there.
Should we follow our parents wishes and become the doctor/lawyer/engineer they've always wanted us to aspire to be? If not, then if we DO follow our own paths...what should we become? We know very well that they only mean it in a good way since having a daughter/son in a respectable position means that not only are we financially secured but they also save face and feel that they can walk a little taller.
I'm in the dilemma that I don't want to be neither of the three but at the same time, as a filial daughter, I don't feel like I could bring it upon myself to bring shame upon my family. It seems like they "settled" for me going to business school but every now and then I hear the occasional remark about: "Oh...you COULD have studied this, that would've been a better path for you". Because I believe I might do it myself when I get married and have kids of my own, to be a besserwisser (One who knows better but more importantly knows better than my kids) I usually bite my tongue because it isn't appropriate to talk back but one must stand up for one self, so I do so, in small doses of course.
In the meantime, I'm still wondering about what I should do with my future once I finish school and get a masters. The problem is....we have too many choices, it makes us confused and dazed, not knowing what to choose from. In the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy my days of going to school, hoping that the answer will fall right into my lap because I've heard that "grown-up life" is soooo much more stressful than the life of a student. If I'm stressed out NOW then who knows what I might end up like when I enter the job market?
Think positive: I'm lucky, blessed and I shouldn't let minor things bother me. Hopefully I'll find out what I want to do with my life before I graduate... If not, I'll publish a stressed-out, panicky, anxiety-filled post. But... everything in due time, for now I'll just focus on me and getting through the exams.
Wish me luck!
14 comments:
only a month?? i feel like you've been gone for 2 months = [
Yeah, I get what you mean about that feeling not really lasting. I hope it doesn't take me having to actually experience poverty to want a better life for myself. Just about all of my family and family friends are in the medical field. The pressure to be one makes me question whether or not I actually want to be premed and not something dealing with design.
then there's also that "shame" of being something not as prestigious as a doctor/lawyer/engineer.I think I know what you are going through. It sucks trying to find your happiness with the full acceptance of your parents. I do want a job that pays well because I know that the constant stress of paying bills, insurance, food, and such can really bring a person down if there's trouble with money.
Let's just marry rich men.
..or create the perfect substitute for oil. I heard algae can be the next big thing in energy. Let's start an algae farm!
hi chi, i really appreciated what u wrote. i drifted for a few years after university. experimenting after graduation is simply necessary for a person to find the right job. or, i think doing an internship before u graduate might be a good idea. work is not difficult once u get started. but u gotta get started to know what it feels like.
Cheryl, I was actually thinking of an internship a while ago. Mmh... I might look into that...
Haha Aradani, algae FTW! You and me baby, we're gonna get rich! If that plan fails, we'll just become golddiggers! JK! ...or am I?? ;D
Welcome back! :) GL with everything yada yada lol :)
In all honesty I don't consider myself lucky. I have so much hate for life's existence, yeah we won't get into that. I think my folks had it easy! I'd love to live in the 70s instead! Our century sucks! So much more hate than back then and people more openly careless/rude about/towards one another. Bah, I hate the world in more ways than one!
My folks wanted me to be a nurse and then a web designer (which I used to enjoy). Now that I want to be in the beauty industry they've been pretty supportive. They know I'm a person who can't stay in one spot for too long.
Good luck Chi!
i think it is a typical thing that asian want their children to better themselves with white-collar jobs. My parents never pressured me and my siblings, especially me i guess in getting into those sort of jobs. They did, however, have higher expectations with my sister and brother because they were a lot more academic than me.
My sister is actually interested in Law, so after her graduation in July, she'll be going to Law school.. my parents are proud of her, but they never pressured her in getting to that.. they actually wanted her to go into investment banking! haha, but my sister refused and stuck to what she wanted to, and is going to go into law.
I'm sure your parents are proud in whatever you do, like you said, they probably never had the chance in going in higher education etc.. its because we have a wider choice in terms of career.
Plus, parents like to control just in general, they can never stop being parents... I'm sure your parents would be supportive whatever you choose to do! goodluck in it all!
Welcome back Chi!
Every generation (or every indeed individual) has its own cross to bear.
I'm sure you'll come to terms with yours eventually. 'Add oil'! (^o^)
Why don't you blog anymore? Where have you gone to? I miss reading your blog.
(lurer)
welcome back dear!
I think its the asian child complex, we all have to deal with this decision between our happiness and what we should do and the relative importance of it all
oh, man, i totally feel ya on hearing the stories of "when i was your age..." it's annoying and inspiring at the same time.
for me, when i FINALLY understood where my parents/grandparents were coming from was when i actually visited the philippines, where my parents and grandparents grew up.
man, western poverty is nothing compared to third-world poverty. and by the grace of God, i was born 1st generation american in a middle class atmosphere.
when i would tell my kids (15 and 10) about the hardships of their grandparents, they didn't understand, either, til they visited the philippines last year. it was an eye opener for them.
good luck with all your exams!
After reading your latest entry, I ironically stumbled upon a Youtube video of Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple) giving a speech to Stanford graduates. It was a great speech. There was a particular part of the speech which I thought would be perfect advice for you (and for me):
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone elses life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other peoples thinking. Don't let the noise of others opinion drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truely want to become. Everything else is secondary!"
I hope it helps in some way. =)
Thanks you guys...
I'll remember that quote and think of it whenever I'm feeling doubt and anxiety. Thank you for posting it!
P.S. Please read my response to your comment from the post you commented on =)
Chi I'm glad you're back! even for a short while
I've been thinking about the same thing every now and then. When I think about stuff like that, I end up feeling guilty and greedy in complaining about such tiny problems when my parents had to deal with something totally different (hop on a boat to escape the vietnam war before 20 yrs of age). My mom wasn't allowed outside anywhere alone or with her siblings due to constant threats of being shot cuz of the war rising.
When I think of all that...it's like..whoa, my problems are NOTHING compared to that. But it also makes me think, I can't stay in taht mindset forever or else I can't enjoy anything. I actually was "restricting" myself of having fun for a long period of time cuz my bf was always shoved into his house not having cable tv, not having decent food, not having any vid games, no pets, barely any a/c during the hot summer...and after that, i realized i shouldn't live less than what i have just because another lives worse.
I guess I realized the same quote Angie posted. I think that was a great quote to consider and think about.
....oops i wrote a lot XD--sorry Chi! ^^() I just wanted to talk about the subject at hand and got carried away haha
Welcome back, Chi!!! And good luck with everything.
Enjoy your life in the moment and let the future linger in the back of your mind. I'm sure it'll crystallize into a direction before too long.
Post a Comment